Sleep takes its hold with a sinking pull.

And now that I'm alone, this burst of lightfills my lids and

I'm awake to the songs of horror. Your ill-bought greatness, he's seen it all from

the frame.One day you'll reap the seeds of a shadowed past,

and I can only hope I'm there.You tried to satisfy the thirst

of a thousand ages,But built a stack of bones as your monument to dead

vanity.It's just a shrine to the words you use to wreck.

Tell me, How can you sleep?How can you just welcome the wine and throw out your nets?

You throw out your nets and set fame to bait the noose. Set fame to derail whats innocent.

Why spare the life of inglorious waste? Why let him live?

He's just hunting your own! How can you just sit there and watch?

"Because i love you more than you know. Look again and tell me what you see!"

In the window was me. The massacres were all me!

Oh God, please! Please! deliver the penalties for all of this from me.

I'm not finding justice, no warrant for mercy...don't give up on me. Don't give up on me!

What happens when I turn and run again? And again, and again?

"I will forgive you."And what happens when I lie to your face?

"I will forgive you."

Oh my God, I can be so defiant to some one who's arms stretch to me."I will forgive."Don't give up on me! Don't give up on me!

"I have forgiven you!"

I'll awake to new purpose to fight this body.No longer will I play the dark shepherd.

Let not my words be ripped from the throat of a horror.

Oh, forgiver! Where is justice in letting me live?

Yay! Another one that makes no sense!

My brain is built of paths and slides and ladders and lasers and I

have invited all of you to enter it's pavilion. My brain, as you enter,

will smell of tangerines and freshly baked vanilla..

hello.

my name is:

friend or foe?

A burning Lego Los Angeles.

control and the feeling of mastery.

The Apollo rocket designers and the NASA engineers of Houston and Sunnyvale grew up the 30's and 40's dreaming of

buck rogers

and the exoterrestrial meanderings of

Amazing stories.

When this aerospace generation grew old enough

they chose to make those dreams in METAL.

CHAMPAGNE URBANA CAMPAIGN!!

His parents were engineers:

but that wasn't enough to keep them together.

pull the wires from the wall.

There's only so far people can be pushed.

Recently a lot of very close friends of mine have started to change, and these changes seem irrevocable.

I can't see the appeal of these new people they are becoming, and I feel horrible for saying this. It's intolerably selfish to think this way, but I can't help but feel like I'm becoming so much flotsam to them, just something to be set aside.

After a while the world starts bleeding back and the cuts stay warm - so I fold myself around my belly, feel the comfort of the gashes and stop feeling so alone.

But I can't keep doing this. I look in the mirror at my flaccid belly, wobbling thighs

rendered with strawberry lines and wonder just how long this can continue before someone reaches out and grabs my hand with the scalpel and looks me in the face and tell me t0 stop...

Someone outside of this glass bubble I have built myself, that you all rise up around, like so much of a vacuum, and yet I can't see you

through this one way glass that I have branded onto my eyes.

What is it about teenage girls and talking about sex.

We've exhausted most of the alleys of conversation on this subject

but you haven't noticed. You continue on, a rotten construct consistently spewing out the same old verbal diaorrhea and I can't bear to listen anymore.

So I run away to quietly vomit, hoping that expelling this food inside my stomach will dispel the fear and hatred of you.

I love you so much, yet I'm so fucking angry that you're leaving me behind, yet aren't moving forward.

You wish to be so much older, you will not enjoy this part of your life, which makes me want to curl up and cry

Because I want so much to share this time with you but you're too busy discussing the merits of starting a brothel and selling your body for other people to hurt and violate.

You've gone wrong but I can't see a way to fix you, to give you back what we had...

For my birthday:

I want one of those keys you win in video games, that allows you to blast through walls and reach the next level -

to get to the other side.

I am Bill's machine

I may be the largest machine that will ever be built.

I may be the richest machine that will ever be built.

I may be the most powerful machine that will ever be built.

Raised with cheerios and station wagons.

Diagonal-slotted parking stalls of the mall.

Looking out of rge window, I see my city beside the sea, dreaming in aeroplanes and wood; metal and rock ballads... Better ways of living. Golden sun falling on this city that wanted for more: sailboats atop the golden water.

The challenge of newness.

Saturday morning cartoons recycling programs crying Indians.

You think you can live without me, but just try.

You desire images of a better tomorrow;

I feed you these images.

You dream of a world in which your ego will not dissolve.

I am the architect of the arena.

Reconsider your notions of what you think will rescue you from a future sterilised of progress.

I am Bill's machine.

If we were machines, we'd have the gift of being eternal and I want you to understand...

Q: what animal would you be if you were an animal?

A: you already are an animal...

Why lions are afraid of chairs.

I found the answer to something really cool.

Apparently the reason lion tamers brandish chairs while cracking the whip is because the lions are mesmerized by all four points of the chair's legs, but never all of them at the same time - their attention is continually distracted, and hence they are subdued.

Awesome.

The liquid engineers left the pool heater on too long, and at night, chlorine vapours rose above the plant life of the planet, and I imagined my flesh, being inside the pool, being warm, being protected, feeling gravity, but able to mock it as I floated.

Would you float with me now, if I asked you, would you jump in the pool and not even bother to strip? Could I strip you down, remove your clothing and we would fall inside the water together?

It scares me.

I don't want to lose you. I can't imagine feeling this strongly about anything or anybody ever again.

This was unexpected, my soul's connection with you.

You stole my loneliness,

no-one knows that I was wishing for you, a thief, to enter

my house of autonomy, that I had locked my doors but

my windows were open, hoping, but not believing,

you,

would enter.