I guess I had resigned myself to being alone from the last time. I thought to myself : Never again.


But it always turns out this way and I'm already lost.


I have to find my own way home. But it's hard when there's nothing holding you back.

I'm so sick of having to lie to everyone.

But I have to keep this a secret. Not only for your sake.

I can't bear to let my family know how far I have really fallen.

I keep denying my name -

it's ok to hurt me but not ok for me to hurt anyone else.

I must learn to walk without crushing. I must learn to hurt without hurting.

All I need is someone to tell me it's alright for me to have this hatred. It's ok to carve myself up. It's ok to be me and to make the mistakes I have. But I can't find anyone who can do this.

Because they alll think it's wrong. They all think it's not okay. But I know it is because I know my own limits.

Well at least I tell myself that.

But again I can't tell if it's me or the things inside that scream in the name of God.

I can't bear to throw any of them out.

They've been part of my life for so long.. and I'm sick of feeling empty.